A few weeks ago this time, I was on a tin can en route from Frankfurt to Orlando. On Lufthansa, of course, which flies direct. But it was long flight - 10 hours and 20 minutes. Or longer depending on the Orlando operations, but I'm getting ahead of myself.I was headed to Orlando for a big Americas partners meeting we generally have every three years, but had skipped the last one due to the economic crisis so this
was my first of these events. I was excited to see a lot of partners I hadn't seen for quite some time, but the fact that we would be in Orlando was largely lost on us as we would be in windowless ballrooms the entire day - it was just convenient because it has large hotel/event centers.
So back to the flight. In the boarding area, there were a bunch of people and children clearly excited about heading to the Magic Kingdom and others apparently headed there for golf and sun vacations (too bad for most of these as it was rainy and overcast most of t
he time I was there). I got more and more grumpy as I saw all the happiness. (Insert some music from "The Grinch" here.) Fortunately, I was in business class which should reduce the chances of cabin-wide happy people.
There are several cabins for business class on a Lufthansa 747-400. I was in the second cabin in the back row of the three-seat section on the aisle. The middle seat was empty, so I was relatively content. When I saw the red felt Christmas stocking that the amenity kit came in, I became totally content. And then there was a gentle tap on my shoulder and a flight attendant
suggested (in German) that I follow her. So I followed her further back in the plane to the third business class cabin which has only two rows. She offered me the two seats on the window side, suggesting that I might be more comfortable there because there was more light, it was a more quiet cabin and it was a bit more private. She was right and I moved immediately. At this point I was downright happy. Had a nice flight during I learned that this flight attendant lives only a few blocks from me in Frankfurt. Small, small world.
A strange thing (or several) happened when we landed, though. We had pulled up to the gate, the fasten seatbelt light went out with a ding and everyone got up and started heading toward the door. Normal so far, right. And we waited. And waited. And someone finally announced that it would be about 20 minutes until US Customs (or whatever we call this agency now) could clear our plane. The plane?? Maybe it's some kind of clearance rather than inspection, but I still found it odd. But by this time, we were already packed in the aisles and far away from our seats, so most of just remained standing for at least until five minutes until the pilot announced that we were going to be refueling so everyone would need to take their seats. Initially, I thought the refueling reference was somehow ominous, as in we might be shipped off somewhere else to wait, but then assumed that since we were already running a big behind, Lufthansa was trying to decrease the delay on the outgoing flight by refueling while we waited. Still not sure what refueling has to do with being in our seats as we weren't required to fasten our seatbelts but I guess it doesn't matter.
Anyway, we nevertheless had been ordered back to our seats and, again, no one is near their seats except perhaps those in the very back. There is a lot of baggage that has been hauled out of the overhead compartments. But the line did start finally moving backwards. And it was a bit awkward, particularly for those of us in business class who were looking at people who had already made themselves comfortable in the larger seats. Awkward.
We finally were let off the plane and hurried to immigration where the true nightmare was waiting and is I suspect the reason for the clearance of our plane by US Customs. When you arrive at the immigration area, about 80% of the immigration desks are designated for visitors and the remainder for US citizens and permanent residents, special needs and flight crews. It makes sense as I imagine there are a whole bunch more people flocking to Orlando for vacation and Disney than there are Orlando residents flying abroad for vacation. Just a guess... And the visitors lines were backed up like crazy, with the entire queue full - and that was before our plane was emptied.
While I had done my best to pass as German on the flight, at this point in time I was more than happy to display the blue passport and head to the short line. I was about fifth in line, so I figured it would be a short wait. I was wrong. I had temporarily forgotten that we were no longer in Germany and all precision and efficiency was left behind on the 747-400 that was probably still refueling outside. While there were four desks for citizens and permanent residents et cetera, only two were in use. And all the special needs people were queued in a separate line and the attendant always seemed to put them in front of the rest of us. We were not amused. It looked for a short while like a third desk would open up as someone entered the cubicle area, but was then joined by another colleague looking at something on the screen that was apparently fascinating. Approximately 45 minutes later, I finally cleared immigration (the actual process of which took about 2 minutes). Did I mention I was fifth in line?!
I headed toward the baggage claim area, assuming that my bags would be there and perhaps even already off-loaded. Um, no. Remember how the queue for the visitors was full when I arrived? Well, those passengers were from Virgin Atlantic and Air France flights. Each had two of the four baggage carousels (they put first and business class on a special carousel). Because they were still waiting to get through immigration, the majority of these individuals had not yet picked up their bags, regardless of class. So there was no free carousel for Lufthansa luggage. Grrr.... But I was wrong - German efficiency wasn't left at the 747-400. The local employees started pulling bags off one of the other carousels so that it could be used for Lufthansa luggage. Love it! So about 75 minutes after landing, I finally had my bags and headed out. Only to discover that the signage in that airport was the worst I had ever (and I do mean ever, which says a lot) encountered when all I wanted was a sign to the taxi line. Grrr....
I finally found the taxi line and headed to my hotel, where I was treated just like another American, rather than one of the poor, unwashed foreigners who had suffered through a long flight and immigration hassles. No sympathy. I realize in retrospect that when he asked for identification, I should have given him my German driver's license and spoken with an accent, if for no other reason than to confuse the poor guy and see whether he started speaking to me in a loud voice as if I were a foreigner (as Avis often does when I present the German driver's license). Nevertheless, the guy gave me a room with what was supposed to offer a view of the fireworks display at the Magic Kingdom, but which required staying up even longer. I made it. Barely. And fueled by chicken quesadillas. Oh, how I miss America's version of Mexican food....
And all that aside, the Marriott World Center has a special on FourSquare whereby you get 250 bonus Marriott Rewards points. I'm just sayin'....
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