29 July 2009 - Barney, Part 2

As a follow-up to the closet installation post, allow me to share installment two of the Barney series.

Recall that when I first moved into my apartment back in February, I bought a small (by current TV standards) 26" flat screen TV from Barney. It was on sale, I thought I needed a TV (not realizing at the time that most of the satellite programming I got at the apartment would be in German), so it was a done deal.

The general idea was that once the closet was installed, I would move that 26" TV into the bedroom and purchase a larger TV for the living room. At that point I still had not determined what the setup for the living room would be since it is an odd shape and the placement of the satellite jack was on the smallest wall in the entire room and the worst possible place to put a TV. And, as discussed in the posting about lighting, the exterior walls and some of the interior walls are made of a solid chalk block, so it's not as if I can pull the cable through the wall and create a jack in a more convenient place. And just forget about surround sound unless you want visible wires everywhere.

So fast forward to about two months ago. I knew that the closet system was scheduled for installation and it was time to think about the larger TV. (As a side note, I don't actually watch much TV, especially since there isn't, for example, a channel over here that runs Law & Order re-runs nearly continuously, which would lure me in like a strange siren's song.) So I began shopping. The last time I actually shopped for a TV was about two years ago when I got my flat panel TV for my place in Chicago. Flat panels were not nearly so ubiquitous then as they are now and prices had not yet begun to drop. That's the good news. The bad news is that there are a lot more models to choose from and, like most things in Europe, TV prices here are more expensive than in the US. And then there's the matter of all of the technical specifications being in German. I mean, it's easy enough to figure out size (though some list the size in centimeters, which takes some getting used to) and resolution and whether it has HDMI slots, but some of the rest like the brand-specific features are a bit confusing.

Hmmmm.... Who could help me with all of these confusing things and work with me in English? Oh yes...Barney!

I decided that if I was going to invest this much in a TV, I wanted to be able to take it back to the US with me when I was done. And I wanted something large, but not gigantaur. So I told Barney that it was important that the TV have a removable power cord that could be exchanged for one that would work in the US without the need for a converter. (I should note that my brother, Seth, graciously volunteered to take the US flat screen off my hands so that it wouldn't sit idle in storage for four long years. He admitted later that he figured that by the time I returned, I'd want something newer than that TV anyway. He's probably right. The joke may be on him, though, as once he installed the TV it started mysteriously just going on strike every once in a while. Crazy Dutch (Phillips) technology....)

TV stations in Germany also broadcast in a different way (I don't know the specifics related to this) than US stations (aside from the whole digital thing, which is a different battle). I was less concerned about this, though, since the likelihood of my having the new TV in a place in the US where I would have neither cable nor satellite service was slim to none. I also wanted a model that could be serviced in the US, if necessary. This, somewhat unfortunately, removed from consideration the German-manufactured Loewe (not to be confused with Lowe's home stores, cinemas or hotels) TVs that have some of the crispest pictures I've ever seen but are nearly twice as expensive as the other brands. Anyway, Barney said he would do some research for me. Love it.

While he was doing this, something entirely unexpected happened. My mom, from whom I'm pretty sure neither Seth nor I received our gadget/technology obsession gene, bought a new TV. A flat panel TV, of course. Seth installed it on the wall for her and she said everyone who came over remarked on how nice and large it was. This made me curious. As far as I know, she generally watches romantic comedies, Hallmark movies and, occasionally, Vegetales flicks with my nieces. (Mom, feel free to add a comment to the blog to clarify.) Not really into action flicks with special effects. So when it was rumored that she had purchased a 46" beast, the gadget chick in me suddenly felt a bit challenged. I'm not generally a keep-up-with-the-Joneses kind of person, but I mean, if my Mom had that big of a TV....

When I went back to see Barney, a beautiful sight greeted me. Multiple signs saying something like "Reduziert" which I interpreted as reductions or a SALE!!!! Woohoo!! Turns out that EP Fischer's fiscal year ended on June 30 so, like most companies, they tried to reduce inventory so there was less inventory to have to count. (And you know how we auditors do so love a good inventory-taking....) Even the big flat panel TVs were on sale. Very, very good.

Barney had indeed performed some research and it seemed like the best bet based on my criteria listed above for me would be a Sony TV. The question was, which one? I looked at the 46" size and it was, quite simply, gigantic. I could not comprehend it in my living room without feeling like I would be standing on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise (which would be cool, but not very realistic). The price for the 46" Sony Bravia with 100Hz frame rate was the same as the 40" with 200Hz frame rate. And the latter would just fit a whole bunch better in my living room and was still huge relative to the 26" Samsung, if not to Mom's TV (though it turned out later, Mom only has a 42" TV, so I am not a total slacker). So I went with the 40". And Barney even cut me a deal on delivery since I am, literally, across the street from the store. (AND, with the "savings" from the sale, I was able to buy a very cool new also-on-sale Tivoli Audio iSongBook docking station, complete with amazing sound (I would expect no less from them), an excellent remote control, surprisingly good radio reception, the ability to charge my big iPod (alas, not my Mini), a detachable speaker on one side to create a better stereo effect, and battery compatibility and little plugs so I could, say, take this sound show to the beach or, closer to home, a bathtub area near me.)

And that should be the end of this story, though of course it is not. The day the TV was delivered, I felt the keen desire to test out the 200Hz Motionflow technology as well as the built-in speakers (I still can't figure out how I'd do surround sound, but hoped perhaps it would not be necessary to contemplate further). What better way to do that than through an in-home viewing of Ronin, which is an action-packed moved with some good special effects and with the most phenomenal car chase scenes featuring, of course, Audi! So I picked up the only DVD player they had in the store and which was also on sale. Sweet.

Um, yeah. Small issue. European DVD players play DVDs formatted for Region 2. The US (and, hence, my entire DVD collection -- which isn't saying much) are formatted for Region 1 viewing. Uhhh.... It was, by this time, Saturday night, so all stores were closed. I had noted, however, that there was the ability to connect a PC to the TV and I happened to have the right cord (the same one you would use to connect to a projecter for an office presentation). Only one problem -- that provided the video connection, but the audio was still coming through my laptop speakers, which wasn't exactly the experience I was looking for. I tried a variety of cords that I have that have an input to the laptop's headphone jack and that split into red and white TV inputs. None of them worked. I think that is because you have to change the input to PC and the red/white inputs relate to a Component input selection. Doh!!! I finally lugged the computer speakers with sub-woofer (described months ago in this blog) out into the living room and hooked that up and it worked like a charm, but wasn't exactly a long-term solution.

The next week I went to Media Markt to see if they had any DVD players that would play Region 1 DVDs. They did some checking on-line but, alas, the answer was no. I finally broke down and bought some Region 2 DVDs so I could test the TV. (I have to say, Miranda in "Der Teufel Trägt Prada" (yes, "The Devil Wears Prada") sounds so much more wicked when she's speaking German.) I believe that the Bourne movie I watched proved that the TV and its speakers would be fine for my viewing needs. But I still wanted to watch my US movies....

I was mentioning the problem to one of my colleagues and he said he thought his brother had purchased an inexpensive multi-regional DVD player and he would look into it. Later, he sent me links to two such devices on Amazon.de. For €30, how could I go wrong? Well, it turns out that the one that I bought (didn't really pay attention to the description on the web site since it was German) was used, but it arrived in good conditions and they even left the batteries in the gigantic remote. More importantly? It works like a charm.

15 July 2009 - Coming out of the Closet

[Perhaps Madonna's "Hung Up" would be appropriate, though clearly she was thinking about something else.]



Recall my excitement about the pending installation of my long-awaited closet system that was ordered back in March. Well, the closet system was installed a couple weeks ago. It was more or less what I thought I had ordered (again, recall that this order was defined and placed in German with a salesperson who spoke nearly as little English as I spoke German at that time). And perhaps not surprisingly, the guys who came to build/install the system also spoke limited English. But, I mean, how much English does it take to tell them how to install a pre-configured system, right?


(Quick time out here as you are probably looking at the photo and trying to figure it out. The cabinet is black-brown wood with black glass panels applied at the top and bottom. There are three doors that slide open and allow one of the three sections to be exposed at a time or for all to be closed. In the current configuration, you will note a lot of color, which, at least in the bottom section, is my response to the weird cubbyhold situation -- stuffing rolled up exercise attire into the slots for easy access with some semblance of organization.)


They were asking, for example, at which height I wanted the closet bar in the section that would hold dresses and long items, as well as for the bars in the divided section for jackets on top and pants and short skirts on the bottom. I mean, shouldn't there be standard heights for where these bars should be? Suffice it to say, there apparently are not and when I started unpacking (finally!!) the wardrobe boxes that had been lurking in my bedroom and the study, I discovered that the dresses dragged on the floor (and thus covering shoes, for which shoe racks had not been provided as I had thought I had requested) and the jackets were nearly spilling into the pants area on the other side. But this was nearly the least of my worries. And don't get me started on the odd cubby hole things that I thought were supposed to be small drawers for hosiery and the like, but weren't.

One of the specific features I had wanted in the closet system was a large space in the center section for a TV (which TV would be the 26" LCD I bought from Barney as the temporary TV for my digs and which was to be moved into this space and replaced in the living room with a larger model, which is a topic for a separate blog). Um, yeah. Problem. The unit backed up flat against the wall and covered the cable and power outlets, which I only realized much later because I hadn't been able to communicate this to the installation guys. And no ability, even if I were able to somehow get to the boxes, to be able to feed them into the closet system without drilling holes.

Did someone say drilling? As with power tools? I feel compelled to refer back to a previous entry that I believe was titled, "I am Sparky's Sister." Have tools. Always looking for more. Will drill. (Not to be confused with, "Drill, baby, drill," which is a conversation for another day. But imagine how angry I might sound if I have that conversation in German! ;-))

So this past weekend I set about remedying the height of the closet bars, the distribution of the shelves and the certain matter of electronics. The first toy that was required (and which was purchased the day after closet installation) was something that I believe is called a pocket hole saw. (I feel compelled to mention I came to that conclusion based on a review of the Home Depot web site. I knew what I was looking for in the Hornbach store here, though, if that makes you not lose total confidence in me being a biological sister to Sparky.) Basically, picture a circular band of steel. The bottom side of the band has an aggressive edge of metal teeth like any other saw. And the other end fastens (that's a gross simplification) to a power drill. When engaged, this tool can drill circular holes into flat surfaces. You know, surfaces like the walls of a closet system....


Problem was, I didn't know exactly where, behind this closet system, the power or satellite outlets were. I measured the height of the outlets in the rooms, which appeared to be consistently at about 12 inches (or whatever the centimeter equivalent is, but this American only has a "standard" measurement tape measure -- in case you're thinking of stocking stuffers for Christmas already). I recalled the approximate position and began drilling in the back wall of the closet. And then the power went out. Hmmm.... Yeah, that's because Captain Intelligence (I'm being sarcastic) had indeed estimated correctly and drilled directly into the extension cord plugged into the electrical outlet behind the wall, resulting in a short and a very nice example of how German electrical systems are designed to prevent accountants with power tools from electrocuting themselves. So I had uncovered one outlet, but more remained. And I couldn't recall whether there were multiple outlets before one got to the satellite connection. Um, nutshell? Three power outlets, so now there are a series of four interlinked circles in the back wall. (If I did a fifth, could I get an Olympic award of some sort because it kind of looks like the rings.....) I then drilled another hole between the left and right sections of the closet system and we were in business with fully functional TV and satellite receiver.


All good. But the four circles bothered me. I wanted to clean them up before I put all the clothes back into the closet. So back to Hornbach I went in search of a nice sawing tool of some sort. I ended up buying a Dremel tool with a separate "cutting kit." Sweet, right? Now, I should have thought, "Hmmmm, I don't recall Sparky himself ever referring to, let alone extolling the virtues of, his Dremel tool." Well, yeah, that's because the Dremel documentation indicated it was for DIY projects. Ruh roh.


But I had the special cutting cut, so all was fine, right? Not so much. The cutting tools included were not meant for wood surfaces. So the round discs ended up essentially creating friction with the wood and pretty much burning it, rather than cutting it. Now, this makes for an interesting smell in one's bedroom, but hardly solved the problem of how to clean up this series of holes before hanging the clothes up in the closet.


So.... Nutshell, I have TV and satellite service in my bedroom. I have several new toys. Cords are out of sight. There is a slight scent of campfire in the air. And I still have no idea what the cubbyholes are for. Life goes on.....

7 July 2009 - Haarspray, the Sequel

[I have not, I admit, watched the movie or play, "Hairspray." So, feel free to use your favorite piece from that soundtrack if you're a fan. I, however, choose "Beauty School Dropout" from Grease for this blog's track of the day, since that more or less describes me and, of course, because Grease has the good sense to have both "I am Sandra Dee" and "Sandy" as songs on the soundtrack, which appeal to me for obviously narcissistic reasons.]

So I have now been back to Mario twice. I think we are bonding. I am not sure whether he laughs at my silliness because he is a joyful kind of guy, or whether he has no idea what the heck I am talking about, but I do so enjoy visiting him.

I learned on my second visit that there is an upper floor to Mario's studio. A whole new world. The second and third times were also not nearly so creepy as the third, since there were other customers there and also other employees who were washing the hair of customers et cetera, which made it seem more like a regular salon.


Highlight of my second visit? He was spraying some stuff on my towel-dried hair and said, "This stuff is great. It's like crack for your hair." You know I couldn't let that go without comment, right?


Preuscher: Really? Is it addictive? Can I share it with my friends? Or must I use it responsibly and only allow those who have been prescribed it by a licensed hairdresser? What happens if I sniff it? Is it edible?


He thought I was kidding. But hey, if he makes a claim like that, I've gotta test it out, right? (Or at least think of ways in which to do so.) Suffice it to say by the time I visited the third time, my roots are now practically full of track marks, though it's hard to distinguish from all the gray hair that I have allowed to roam my scalp in a bizarre experiment of, "How long can you seriously claim that you don't despise the fact that your hair indicates you are aging?" Rather, I think the Crack for Hair (actual name is Energy Volumizer No. 2 -- step aside, Chanel No. 5, and yeah, I did have advanced placement, skipping over Volumizer No. 1 entirely) may have accelerated the appearance of my, um, silver highlights. Or are they platinum? Perhaps only the issues of my clients that have brought such luminescent strands to my head can really attest to the expense with which they appear.


After the second visit, I was starting to actually almost get the hang of the Scissorhands cut. Still unruly, but I was able to live with the chaos though it was readily apparent I needed to visit more often to keep up that look of chaos without sliding down into unkempt and mangy. And then came visit 3.....


I was yakking away with Mario and then he stopped his snipping and pronounced what was on top of my head good.


Preuscher: Um, Mario, there are curls on top of my head.


Mario: I know, aren't they great? I took advantage of the natural wave of your hair to do that.


Preuscher: Um, yeah, the natural wave and the attendant flips are what I am trying to avoid. How would I re-create this, um, (mess -- no, what's a politically correct term?) "effect" again?


Mario: Oh, if you don't have the 6 brushes on hand that I used to create this, you could use hot rollers.


Preuscher: What?! Um, no, this has to be a quick kind of 'do.


Mario: Well, you could perhaps approximate the effect with some of the kind of other velcro-like rollers.


Preuscher: (After hissing intake of breath....) Hmmmm.....


So, suffice to say, my days of waking up, looking at my bedhead, taking a shower, and then attempting to re-create the bedhead less cowlicks are over. I miss them. I miss Edward Scissorhands. I will have him back....


Meanwhile, the Droggerie Mart pulled a slick move on me last time. Turns out that Bier Shampoo is not the one for my dark (unadjusted for silver highlights) tresses. There is actually a Walnuss Braun-Reflex Shampoo that matches my conditioner. This throws my entire food theme of beer, walnuts, and espresso chase out the window. Oh, Guhl..... Soooooo personally disappointed in your inability to manage and present your inventory at the Droggerie Mart.....

5 July 2009 - Momentarily afflicted by spontaneity

[Fergie, "London Bridge."]


I believe it is universally acknowledged that I am not a very spontaneous person, particularly when such spontaneity may require an outlay of cash. That has not changed since I moved here. But what also has not changed is how much I like my peeps. I have a great team here, but I still do miss my peeps in the US. And sometimes BlackBerry Messenger (hereinafter "BB") just isn't enough.





So fast forward to two weekends ago. After an exhausting week, I was headed to sleep late on Friday, but sent some BB shout outs to some of my peeps. One of them (codename, "Sage") responded that she was headed to London on Saturday for a project and would be there a few days and perhaps I should swing by. Yeah, right.





But the idea had been planted and my subconscious must have been thinking about it all night because it was still on my mind when I woke up Saturday morning. I headed to my computer to see if it was possible to get a same-day ticket at a reasonable price. Now, unfortunately, we do not use AMEX Travel at the German firm, which would have allowed me to do multiple searches at the same time. Carlson Wagonlit kind of stinks -- no online tool AND they make you pay €15 for the privilege of them booking a ticket if you do so for personal travel. So I was left to my own devices.





American Airlines/British Airways said they would be happy to ferry me to LHR for €750. Yes, Euro. How about, "Heck, no!!" Lufthansa? Their €720 received a similar response from me. Now, I don't know all the discount carriers over here yet (Southwest, please expand abroad!), but neither EasyJet nor Air Berlin fly between FRA and LHR. Hmmm.... Long story, I was able to find a Mr. Toad's Wild Ride flight for about €225. This involved taking Air France via CDG and returning through AMS on KLM. I hate connections... But for a peep and to save money, I did it. I should note that I left home for the airport around the same time that Sage left IAD, yet I only got to the hotel about 2 hours before she did. Did I mention I hate connections?





Somehow I was able to score an exit row aisle on both legs of the Air France ticket. (Ignore how many seats were available on the flight for now. While the AF 447 flight recorders have not yet been recovered, and probably never will, I do not have safety concerns about the airline. I can only assume that only a confluence of catastrophic conditions could down a big rig like the A330 when flown by experienced pilots as was the case with AF 447. My heart and prayers go out to the family and friends of the passengers and crew of that flight.) Nevertheless, I found it a bit creepy that they gave an awful lot of instruction on how to open the window exit, including specific instruction on how to remove the panel covering the handle on the window. And, on the second leg, the flight attendant asked me if I would be willing to move to the window seat as they needed someone on the exit window. Yikes.





A quick note on airlines. Air France and KLM merged in 2004 to become Air France-KLM, yet they still have very separate brands. Compare this with, say, the American Airlines acquisition. It seems to be that within a very short period of time, everything was all American including repainting the jets. You only knew you were on a legacy TWA plane if you looked at some of the badging near the cockpit as you entered or realized the seats themselves were really uncomfortable. (Sorry, TWA, but it's true.) Anyway, the planes of KLM and Air France are still painted differently (though perhaps with a shout out to "Air France-KLM" somewhere). And the uniforms of the flight attendants are also significantly different. Air France female flight attendants have a longer, lean-looking jacket that makes them look catwalk-ready on a moment's notice. KLM's light blue uniforms, on the other hand, look inexpensive and perhaps even homemade (no offense to great at-home sewers!) and the sensible navy shoes that are also apparently part of the uniform do little to dissuade the sensible look of the ensemble. Nevertheless, excellent service was provided by both cabin crews.





Anyway, I arrived safely at LHR and took the Underground to the city (you know, saving money and all). Sage was staying at the Sheraton Park Lane, so I had obtained a room there as well. Um, a bit down at the heels, shall we say? No upgrade, small and wretchedly hot fitness center, nearly non-functional air conditioning in the rooms, no club level lounge, no place to plug in the hair dryer unless you crawled partially under the bed, concierge was out of postage, and then there's that small matter of the shower head falling down, hitting my foot and drawing blood. Other than that, delightful.... It was, however, located right on Green Park, a short walk from Buckingham Palace, and easily accessible via Underground. "Value priced" perhaps? Well, let's not get carried away here....





Sage arrived late in the evening, so we met only briefly, then reconvened the following morning for a quick tour of the some of the tourist attractions that were relatively close. The official reason for the trip was, of course, to take my peep to afternoon tea at Brown's Hotel. Now, I got a lot of flack on Facebook when I said I was going to London to take my peep to tea because it sounded a bit (oh, let me recall some of the words) pompous, spoiled, posh, stuck-up, snobbish, and spendthrift. If you know me, you realize that I was joking. While I really enjoy afternoon tea after having been introduced to the tradition by one of my mentors (and having previously had tea at Brown's with my Mom several years ago), the real purpose of the trip was to spend time and reconnect with one of my favorite people. And, quite frankly, after the hellatious week I had had, I suspect reconnecting with someone from the US was of more mental benefit to me than whatever I may have provided in terms of guidance or whatever to Sage.





In any event, good times and well worth the short trip. And if you ever need to know how to pop the exit window/door of an A300, let me know....






(The photo is of a random shopping arcade. Imagine if strip malls could looks this classic....)

1 July 2009 - Half of an ICE = Amtrak?

[Theme song from "Rawhide." You know, "Rollin', rollin', rollin'...."]

So you know how much I enjoy the ICE by now, right? Well, I now have a bit of an issue with them. Today I was scheduled to enjoy ICE 124 from Fern 7 at the Frankfurt airport train station (the fernbahnhof, for those at-home players following the Deutsche Bahn timetable) to Düsseldorf with no connections. My pre-assigned seat was seat 73 in car (aka "wagen") 28. We paid €3 for the privilege of having an assigned seat. Anyway, a good start.

The car number is displayed on a digital panel on the outside of the car and there is a particular way in which the cars are arranged within the train. When you arrive at your track, there is a large poster displayed in one of the display cabinets that displays the letter point (A, B, C, etc .) corresponding to a location on the platform where your car will stop and you will board. Very convenient once you figure this out.

So I was standing at location F when the train rolled in. Hmmm. That's actually car 38. Hmmm.... Is it possible that the car is going backwards and 28 is at the other end? Um, not so much. Now, sometimes two separate trains are linked together and then split at a particular location (for example, one goes to Brussels, the other to Amsterdam), but it doesn't matter since you know which car to go to. Except when that car doesn't show up.

There was no car 28. I asked several Deutsche Bahn employees (who I later referred to in the made-up word, Wagenmeister, not to be confused with Hausmeister who is the Schneider of my apartment building -- you know, Schneider from Three's Company) where 28 was and they essentially said that that train (the ICE 124) was not along for this ride, just the ICE 14, so I could try to find a seat that wasn't already reserved. Oh, and I'd have to disembark at Köln and switch to a regional train to get to Düsseldorf .

Um, what? Did I mention I paid €3 for that non-existent seat? There were, of course, no assigned seats on the regional train, either. I was a bit cranky by time I arrived (late) in Düsseldorf , only to discover that what had been described as a 5 minute walk (apparently by an Olympic speedwalking contender) was actually 18 minutes in office shoes and in the full light of the blazing sun. Grrrr.....

The return trip was also disappointing. I ordered a, um, "refreshing beverage" somewhere around Bonn. It was delivered approximately 3.5 minutes before we arrived at the fernbahnhof. Seriously?? On the positive side, for the portion of the trip from Düsseldorf to Köln (before the train reversed direction), I was directly behind the engineer in his glassed-in cabin. Interesting to watch, though not nearly so suspenseful as being directly behind (no glass wall) the pilot of a single-propeller plane in Costa Rica. There are a few screens and a few levers that I suspect basically say "Go," "Stop" and "Size of the bump we just flattened at 300 kph?"

Nevertheless, I am home. I am a bit freaked out, though, as I left Hudson in the parking garage near my client location overnight. I feel this distance between us.... That distance will feel much bigger tomorrow when I am forced to take a taxi from home to the client.

It is hot here. Dinner upon late arrival home? Cold homemade mashed potatoes. I am pretending they are really bland potato salad.