To vacate or not to vacate

“ In matters of healing the body or the mind, vacation is a true Genius!” – Mehmet Murat Ildan

It’s a few days before the long Memorial Day weekend and I have a confession -- I am already anxiety-ridden about the very idea of taking vacation. Unfortunately, I’m not alone in this respect, as you’ve likely heard some of the rather sad and horrifying statistics about vacation in the US.

• About 25% of working Americans receive no paid time off.  That's just horrible to contemplate on its own, and unbelievable to some Europeans who receive over 30 days a year.
• But 75% of us who are fortunate to have paid vacation don't take all the vacation that we are allowed.  (Wouldn't it be nice if we could share the unused days with those who have none?) 
• It gets worse.  One in 10 people who do take a vacation say that they can't relax because of the need to check e-mails, be on conference calls and the like.

In an era where employment was shaky at best during the economic crisis and many were asked to do even more, our inboxes and calendars have become jam packed. The idea of checking out for a vacation inevitably creates fears of not being seen as responsive, wondering if you’ll still be needed if everything goes well while you’re away, or just the sheer volume of digging out required upon return. I’ve been guilty of thinking all of these things at various points in my career. But my experience living in Europe helped me understand that real vacation is doable with some careful thought and planning.


When I lived in Germany, it wasn’t unusual for employees to take two or even three weeks of vacation, and not just for a honeymoon. And they didn’t generally just spend two weeks sitting at the beach. No, they were exploring, diving, hiking, mountain biking, deep sea fishing, surfing, sailing, trekking, enrolling in ashrams, taking photo safaris and a bunch of other amazing things in corners of the world I had hardly heard about, let alone visited. And they did it every single year, sometimes multiple times per year. Contrast this with my vacations that either took me back to the US or to favorite places like Spitzingsee in southern Germany.


My colleagues always came back refreshed and full of life. I came back mostly the same as I left, albeit sometimes with a sunburn or aching muscles. I didn’t have the mental refreshment that they did. I finally realized that I was changing venues, but not changing my mind. I wasn’t opening myself up to new experiences, activities, places and cultures and thus challenging my perceptions and letting my mind wander into new territory.


The other significant difference is that they were very up front about their vacation with the rest of the team, letting both colleagues and clients know in advance that they would be out, ensuring that the team members backing them up knew the status of current projects, wrapping up loose ends and debriefing immediately upon return.


I haven’t mastered the art of a work-free vacation, but am working on it. I offer a few tips that might help put you on the road as well:

• Plan a vacation. Put it on the calendar. If you don’t and think you’ll just take vacation “when things slow down,” you’ll never take the vacation. This also helps set expectations for your friends, family and colleagues. It also creates something to look forward to and may help get you excited about planning something special.
• Explore someplace new. It’s fine to have a vacation home or time share that you return to, but at least once a year, try to go someplace entirely new where your mind can be challenged by something new that may provide new perspectives. And truly explore. Flying into a new airport and hanging out at a self-contained resort doesn’t really count.
• Plan ahead.  At least two weeks before the vacation, start managing what’s on your plate, identify tasks that may extend into your vacation period, and get colleagues up-to-speed. And start mentioning the vacation to those who need to know that a colleague will be filling in.
• Manage work intrusions.  If you must check e-mail or attend calls, be up-front with both your colleagues and your friends/family and limit the calls to the time(s) of the day that will least interfere with the vacation (and stick to that time). And make sure that you identify a quiet place in advance where you can do that work so that you don’t wake up everyone with, say, your 5 AM call.
• Debrief.  Immediately upon return, debrief with your colleagues who covered for you. Might not hurt to bring back a small thank you gift for them.
• Repeat.  Before the vacation ends, plan your next vacation so you always have something to look forward to and can plan around.

 (The photo is one taken on one of my many hikes around Spitzingsee -- yes, the trail went through a cow pasture.)

The eyes have it

This weekend, I went in for a long-overdue haircut. I was handed off to a woman who was to wash my hair, as is the practice at this salon.  While I was sitting back in the chair with my eyes closed, it occurred to me that I had already forgotten the woman's name and had no vivid recollection of what she looked like.  I’m embarrassed to say I hadn’t bothered to really acknowledge her, let alone attempt to connect with her in some way.


I continued to think about this over the rest of the weekend, I imagined what it must feel like on the other end.  Would I feel invisible?  Ignored?  Dismissed?  Avoided?  All of the above?  Something worse?


The thing that struck me most was that I could be causing these types of feelings totally inadvertently. Literally not thinking about it because I was so caught up in my own world -- and things as simple as a haircut.  Which makes it that much worse.


And then I thought about what I would want to have happen in an encounter.  I’d want to be seen, to register.  A smile might be nice.


So I’m trying something new this week and which I certainly hope will not just be a one-week experiment. I am making a point of really seeing everyone with whom I come into reasonably close contact (within reason – not going to try this on the subway).  People I see at work, shopping, at the gym, in my neighborhood. Specifically, I’m looking at them to the point that I can see the color of their eyes.  And if there’s eye contact, I smile.  Because isn’t that what we humans do when we see someone we like?


I’m only a little over a day into this, but I can’t tell you how much happy, positive energy I have gotten out of these encounters.  What surprised me more is how many people have not only met my smile, but raised me a “Hello.”  And this morning was particularly fun because I saw some of the people I "met" yesterday and the smile came so much more easily for both of us.  Because we connected.  I am personally appalled by how much I have been missing.


I hope I am the only one who is like this, operating in a personal bubble.  But for those who might have their own bubbles, I invite you to try the color of their eyes challenge.  See if it adds to your appreciation of those around you and what they have to offer.  And adds a few more smiles to your day.

Identifying privilege to increase inclusion

In a typical professional environment, it may be easy to assume that those around us are more or less the same.  For example, we have similar degrees, have obtained professional licenses and certifications and have demonstrated an ability to serve clients.  But the exercise in the attached link shows how just asking a relatively small number of questions can highlight some of the unseen differences.


While the exercise is primarily designed to identify "privilege" it can just as easily serve to identify diversity -- not only diversity in background but the various lenses through which we view the world and the tools we can bring to bear in solving complex problems.  It may surface things we didn't know about our colleagues, topics that don't come up in a typical business settings, answers to questions we may not have even thought to ask.


The more we know about our colleagues, the more we can understand them and help all team members bring their whole selves to work and truly act as inclusive teams that leverage our diversity to make a better working world.


Take a look and see if this may help you and your teams.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/07/06/what-is-privilege_n_7737466.html?utm_hp_ref=canada-impact&ir=Canada+Impact