The eyes have it

This weekend, I went in for a long-overdue haircut. I was handed off to a woman who was to wash my hair, as is the practice at this salon.  While I was sitting back in the chair with my eyes closed, it occurred to me that I had already forgotten the woman's name and had no vivid recollection of what she looked like.  I’m embarrassed to say I hadn’t bothered to really acknowledge her, let alone attempt to connect with her in some way.


I continued to think about this over the rest of the weekend, I imagined what it must feel like on the other end.  Would I feel invisible?  Ignored?  Dismissed?  Avoided?  All of the above?  Something worse?


The thing that struck me most was that I could be causing these types of feelings totally inadvertently. Literally not thinking about it because I was so caught up in my own world -- and things as simple as a haircut.  Which makes it that much worse.


And then I thought about what I would want to have happen in an encounter.  I’d want to be seen, to register.  A smile might be nice.


So I’m trying something new this week and which I certainly hope will not just be a one-week experiment. I am making a point of really seeing everyone with whom I come into reasonably close contact (within reason – not going to try this on the subway).  People I see at work, shopping, at the gym, in my neighborhood. Specifically, I’m looking at them to the point that I can see the color of their eyes.  And if there’s eye contact, I smile.  Because isn’t that what we humans do when we see someone we like?


I’m only a little over a day into this, but I can’t tell you how much happy, positive energy I have gotten out of these encounters.  What surprised me more is how many people have not only met my smile, but raised me a “Hello.”  And this morning was particularly fun because I saw some of the people I "met" yesterday and the smile came so much more easily for both of us.  Because we connected.  I am personally appalled by how much I have been missing.


I hope I am the only one who is like this, operating in a personal bubble.  But for those who might have their own bubbles, I invite you to try the color of their eyes challenge.  See if it adds to your appreciation of those around you and what they have to offer.  And adds a few more smiles to your day.